MUST READ: Ordered to live with an abuser: How and why American family courts fail children

This is a GREAT article written in the Philly VOICE by Amy Wright Glenn on June 28, 2015. One of the reasons why I love reading alternative newsweeklies - They do not cower to the bullies of family courts, lawyers, and big corporations.

I use to work for one and witnessed an expose similar to this exposing a corrupt politician. The politician attempted to slap a lawsuit for more than the paper was worth to shut the story up, and the newspaper was in no financial means to go into legal battle. Money rules and it rules in family courts too. Your children belong to the government and the family courts treat them as property.

Harsh right? Well read this expose and be enlightened to the atrocities committed against our children and citizens every day.

Quote from "Ordered to live with an abuser: How and why American family courts fail children":

While dozens of well-respected organizations work tirelessly to improve the legal status of those escaping domestic violence and abuse, the damning fact remains that America’s children are too often treated as property to be divided between contentious parents in family courts. Furthermore, the courageous parents who flee with their children from violence risk losing custody of the children they fought so hard to protect.

Joyanna Silberg Ph.D., executive vice president of the Leadership Council on Child Abuse & Interpersonal Violence, asserts that family courts, in general, are “horrifyingly uninformed” when it comes to how domestic violence and/or child abuse manifests in people's lives. The “signs and prevalence of violence” are rarely understood or appreciated. Tragically, this results in courts routinely ordering children to live with abusive parents.

How is this possible?

Silberg has served as an expert witness relating to allegations of abuse in family courts in more than 27 states. She explains that the “underlying paradigm” in family court law is of “equal distribution” and this viewpoint impacts everything -- particularly how children are treated. Generally, family courts regard it as in “the best interests” of a child to facilitate or mandate equal time or contact with both parents.

We cannot afford to fail America’s abused and neglected children. A restructuring of the family court paradigm is in order. 

But what happens when one parent and/or child is a victim of another parent's violence? In such cases, equal time and distribution do not create a wise paradigm to consider, nor are these principles in any way supportive of a child’s best interests. Certainly, the Immortan Joes of our world do not deserve unsupervised visits with their “property” while non-abusive parents risk losing custody for failing to “facilitate contact.”

According to Silberg, most Americas are “shockingly unfamiliar” with the paradigms guiding family law and many abused mothers are aghast to discover that simply telling the truth about their own or their child's experience “often works against them.” Because abuse allegations are hard to prove, abusers can easily frame a mother as “a manipulative woman” and tell the judge that she has a “long history of lying.” If abuse isn't proven in court, this only reinforces the misconception that the victim isn't trustworthy.

....

However, wisdom does not represent the prevailing trend – even for those who have legitimately been admitted to, and received support from, domestic violence shelters. Silberg recalls: “In my last 20 years of experience with family court, I have never once seen the fact that a woman went to a domestic violence shelter be successfully used as proof of existing abuse.” 

Furthermore, some judges have been known to view the support given at a domestic violence shelter as “a tactic of manipulation” on the part of a parent who is not “giving a child over to facilitate contact.” 

....

“One of the main reasons why mothers don’t leave abusers relates to the fear of the loss of custody,” states Sue Julian, former team coordinator for the West Virginia Coalition Against Domestic Violence. 

To read the FULL article by Amy Wright Glenn from the Philly VOICE, Ordered to live with an abuser: How and why American family courts fail children, please click here. 

The United States is in current dire economic crisis with the worst economy since the Great Depression. Yet, by society and our government repeatedly ignoring the 24yrs worth of statistics with same or worsening results, taxpayers currently spend over one trillion dollars on health care, crime and economic loss annually as a result of domestic violence with an additional estimated cost of $8-10,000,000 BILLION in frivolous legal abuse by our family courts.

In Massachusetts, data has repeatedly shown that “Fathers who actively seek custody obtain either primary or joint physical custody over 70% of the time” (New England School Of Law, 1990).[iv]  This statistic is the same across the country as documented through various studies by the Department of Justice and the Association of Judges and over the years has shown a drastic increase of custody to fathers to a rate as high as 85%. 

Since the Gender Bias Study has been published in 1990, not much has changed in Massachusetts. Starting with the Gender Bias Study in 1990 to the Fox News Report “Lost In The System” interview with former Family Court Judge Salcido in 2013, billions of dollars are being spent on domestic violence programs in a broken system. The system now compared to 1990 is not much safer if at all for victims especially when confronted with family court judges who routinely discriminate and punish victims and protective parents for trying to protect their children from abuse as you will see.
My story is just one of many listed in all this statistical data enthralled in one of the worst legal battles in the history of Massachusetts involving many aspects that would make a great movie plot. I won’t belabor the facts behind my case due to the fact, when my story is told (backed with facts) it is usually overwhelming for the listener or reader. However, I can provide you evidence and proof of everything from corruption, cover-ups, theft, extortion, as well as depriving me and my children a loving relationship since 2007 for speaking out about the abuse perpetrated upon me, my family, and other families alike despite state DCF and appointed supervisor testimonies and evidence to corroborate my story.

I have never been declared an unfit parent. I am not an alcoholic nor drug abuser. I have never been convicted of a crime. I have never abused my children. My only crime in the eyes of family court, is trying to protect my children from an abusive father.

My case started out as a domestic violence case, and I have had little to no contact with my children since September 2007 AFTER I went to court seeking protections from abuse. If you wish to learn more about my case or about the general problem in Massachusetts, I would be happy to provide you with names, numbers, and documentation to back up my story and claims. I would even consider being a guest on any radio or tv shows if permitted to discuss the systemic problem in general, not necessarily my case. (Bonetzky-Joseph, n.d.)

Alone we are silenced. Together we can create postive ripples and waves of change. Our children ... our nation ... our taxpayers are depending on us as adults to DO something to protect them and end the court licensed abuses and trillions of dollars of taxpayer subsidies to batterers. 

To read the FULL article by Amy Wright Glenn from the Philly VOICE, Ordered to live with an abuser: How and why American family courts fail children, please click here.

Other related links:

• 24yrs Later: Massachusetts Family Courts STILL Fail Abuse Victims More Than Ever
• Help Me See My Children and Begin the Healing Process in Reunification
• Judge James V. Menno Keynote Speaker for Fatherhood Group for Incarcerated Fathers in How to Gain Visitation and CUSTODY
• Judge James Menno's Recusal in a Domestic Abuse / Custody Case ADMITTING Bias
• Whistleblower Judge Salcido: California - FOXLA Children Lost in the System Series
• Side Note on the FOXLA series. After a few investigative reports by Fox News, the Producer of the series had a "mysterious hiking accident"  and died and the series stopped and to this day has NOT been renewed. Makes one question the seriousness of this problem or how high up does it really go?

                                           

Whistleblower: Judge Salcido in California - FOXLA Children Lost in the System Series

Side Note on the FOXLA series. After a few investigative reports by Fox News, the Producer of the series had a "mysterious hiking accident"  and died and the series stopped and to this day has NOT been renewed. Makes one question the seriousness of this problem or how high up does it really go?

My Letter to Judge Lisa Roberts Pleading for Assistance and Justice under ADA

This letter was written as a result of the increased trauma related stress I had been feeling as a direct result of the repeated harassment, stalking, criminal activity, and the systemic failures or willingness to address such serious acts such as REPEATED identity theft.

Judge Roberts REFUSED to accept the letter during my hearing on Monday January 28, 2013, and denied gateway motion for a motion to be heard on this matter.

COMMOMWEALTH OF MASSACHUSETTS

Plymouth and Brockton Family Court

Judge Lisa Roberts

Dear Judge Roberts,                                                                           January 25, 2013

            RE: Bonetzky-Joseph v Joseph

            Docket No: PL06 D0566-DV1

Dear Judge Roberts, 
 

I am writing to you in hopes of your assistance in this case which is has become very traumatic for me. 
 

Under the American Disabilities Act (ADA), I am requesting the court to appoint a lawyer to assist me in preparing, managing, and handling of my appeal.  I am requesting a lawyer with specific expertise in areas of appeals, mental health, trauma, child custody, and domestic abuse.
 

I am also requesting under the ADA, that the court place restrictions on Attorney Arabasz conduct.  I am requesting the court order a comprehensive set of guidelines for his methods of ethical and professional communications in light of the history of the combative nature of his correspondences.  Attorney Arabasz has also verbally assaulted me as reported to Judge Sebatis in a restraining order hearing in 2006, substantiated by multiple third party witnesses and I believe he may have been reprimanded for his conduct based on what had transpired. He has engaged in gaslighting tactics and bullying as reported to the courts numerous times with no further actions. He has acquired my personal information unlawfully and refuses to explain how he attained the nonpublic information and obstructed justice on numerous occasions. He has intimidated witnesses as also reported to the courts. For these reasons, since the courts do not feel his actions require any further disciplinary actions, I am requesting a third party be appointed to mediate in any communications with Attorney Arabasz on top of the guidelines in regards to his conduct in correspondences with me. 
 

To add to why the courts should grant this request, Attorney Arabasz and Mr. Joseph have engaged in tactics since Sept 2007 by their own testimonies that demonstrate I undisputedly meet these qualifications under the ADA or they would not have gone to the extreme they have gone through to sever my relationship short of completely terminating my rights with my children since 2007.

Attorney Arabasz has stated these facts and desires numerous times under oath and via his motions to terminate all contact between the children and myself including terminating visitation during multiple court sessions that the courts repeatedly found to be credible. 
 

You are aware or should have been aware that this case began as a domestic violence case in 2005 and this court has been repeated reminded of the duress it has caused me. The abuse I endured and witnessed by the children (as documented) has escalated over the years via domestic violence by proxy.  

I am a human being and a mother who loves her children deeply but has been almost completely deprived of her children for over 5 years. I have not seen my children since August 3, 2011.  I would not be normal if I were not upset and distraught over that alone.  I lost custody via ex-parte in September 2007 after being forced to lift a restraining order in order to get the arrears in child support owed as documented in court records. I have been pretty much shut out of my children's lives completely since Sept 2007. 

As a protective mother trying to protect her children from abuse, I went from having a restraining order to being forced to lift it to almost never seeing your children again for no just reason.  

I have missed ALL of my three daughters birthdays, first day of school, first dance, holidays, vacations, school volunteering since 2007. My youngest daughter, Kelly, is 9. That means I have already missed out on HALF her life. I am not a drug addict. I am not an alcoholic.  I was and still am an upstanding citizen in the community despite Attorney Arabasz and his clients attempt to cause deliberate and malicious harm to me. I do my best to volunteer in the community including hospice and domestic abuse and have won numerous awards for my volunteerism over the years which tends bring me a renewed sense of healing from my own traumas. My children and I cannot get back those formative years we have missed.  They are gone forever, never to return.  I am speechless in my ability to describe the pain and anguish I feel over this injustice alone.
 

Over that time, as documented through the courts, I have endured numerous repeated serious abuses that I have come to the court pleading for help with no prevail.  I am a human being who can take being abused only for so long.  I have suffered serious repeated unrelenting undue stresses, many which are criminal in nature, that have caused health issues. When the trial arrived, I prayed and hoped for justice to finally prevail for the sake of my children. 
 

I have been severed from my children’s lives with little to no contact since August 3, 2011 and even longer since September 2007. The verdict of August 2012 from the trial was devastating to me and I worried the about the long term negative impact and implications it would have on my children as medical research demonstrates and the most telling is the ongoing ACE Study funded by the CDC.  

As a result, I am currently being treated for ADHD, Legal Abuse Syndrome, and trauma-related stress and my treatment since trial has increased. Symptoms of trauma-related stress include: gastro-intestinal issues; anxiety and fear especially when exposed to situations reminding me of the many repeated traumatic events; trouble sleeping; trouble eating; low energy; memory problems; including difficulty remembering aspects of the trauma; a “scattered” feeling and inability to focus on work or daily activities;  emotional “numbness,” in which causes me to feel withdrawn, disconnected, or different from others; and protectiveness of loved ones or fear for their safety.

I did not suffer any of these symptoms until after I married an abusive partner and endured years of  abuse.  I was a victim that the system failed to protect and now I suffer greatly.  I was a fantastic mother and even the father had no questions to my ability to care for or mother these children until he got what he wanted and stole financially through the divorce.  However, the system has stripped away all my ability to love, nurture, and parent my three daughters who need me greatly.  
 

As numerous medical studies and research suggest, being subject to the repeated abuses  is a trigger that causes these symptoms I feel. If the abuse was removed and my ability to parent would be restored, the symptoms would also dissipate and the return to normalcy attained. 
 

I have been fighting and defending my rights to see, reunite, and restore some sort of normalcy in my life with my children for over seven and half years. I have been defending my rights to privacy to not have my personal information repeatedly stolen, my rights to not be harassed, repeatedly threatened, stalked, and intimidated. 
 

I have been defending myself three times in criminal court as well as in the community of the charges for a crime of stealing money that legally belonged to me on a house that legally belonged to me. 

I have had to defend my right to call for a well check on my children which was legally advised and have since been threatened by my ex and his lawyer for MORE criminal harassment charges if I attempt to contact the children via text messages. 
 

I have had many of my private accounts altered with my addresses changed to an address that I have never lived at, but so happens to be the address where my ex-husband runs his financial services business.  This occurred with my home owners and his attempts to steal a $30k insurance check and threatened two police officers in his attempts; my health insurance; and more recently discovered DURING trial, my IRA which was changed by me ex-husband acting as securities advisor as documented with records and not only that but receiving my statements for three years and opening my mail as evidenced at trial. This is not to mention the acquisition of my mortgage loan application by Attorney Arabasz and his client with no recourse or answers to how they attained the document which is not a public record.
 

This is not to mention my ex stole my father’s entire retirement account by committing a securities transaction without a license as evidenced to you during your trial.  
 

I have had my assault and battery evidence disappear from the Plympton Police department and waived in my face by Attorney Arabasz which caused issues for the Police department who admitted wrongdoing as a result. 
 

I have had my phone conversations illegally tape recorded prior to Judge Menno’s order. This does not preclude the acts and the wrongdoing prior to the order. As noted by the Plymouth Police Department, Attorney Arabasz could not provide any document or evidence to substantiate it was conducted lawfully prior to the order.
 

I have had my tires slashed, identity stolen four times, office broken into, just to name a small amount of issues I have had to face with many of them being admittedly perpetrated against me by my ex-husband and his lawyer.  All of these acts were committed over a four year period which can get very stressful, exhausting, taxing on the mind, body and spirit of best equipped and intentioned individuals.  The fact that I feel injustice has occurred in my case negatively affecting my children has unfortunately become now a new trigger causing these to render my ability to properly prepare for my Appeal impossible.
 

This is not to include a serious auto accident which caused me to not work for over 9mo.

It is difficult for most lawyers to meet deadlines, know what to prepare, how to prepare it, when, and with right citings of case laws and arguments to use in the case for an Appeal. It even more difficult to do it pro se.  However, it has become near impossible to complete when faced with these triggers and impairments causing these unbearable symptoms of the trauma-related stress. 
 

I have recently learned there is a additional term for what I suffer called “Legal Abuse Syndrome”. As defined by expert Karin Huffer, 

“LEGAL ABUSE SYNDROME (LAS) is a form of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).  It is a psychic injury, not a mental illness.  It is a personal injury that develops in individuals assaulted by ethical violations, legal abuses, betrayals, and fraud. Abuse of power and authority and a profound lack of accountability in our courts have become rampant, compounding an already stressful experience.  

This stress can and does lead to physical illness. AMA statistics show that around 85% of all physical illness is directly attributable to stress. Legal Abuse Syndrome is a public health menace in this country.  It leads to massive medical intervention costs, burdens insurance companies, and adds to Medicare and Social Security costs.  Most painfully, it crushes the brilliance and creativity of its sufferers.  Legal Abuse Syndrome is detrimental to all of society, and nobody is immune.

… When litigants are unable to get fair resolution to their issues, when the court dysfunction further adds to the litigant's burden, when no amount of actual case law compels an equitable outcome, litigants suffer often disabling levels of stress. When further attempts to achieve redress fail, litigants display the hallmark signs of Legal Abuse Syndrome (LAS).”
 

The fact that my ex-husband testified under oath admitting not complying with court order, has not intention of complying with court order and then the court not taking swift and punitive action was devastating to my very being. 
 

My need for an attorney over any other litigant is simple.  As a result of the disabilities and impairments I suffer from, I am unable to do what is needed for the Appeal. 
 

As noted, it took at least 5-6 appearances, not to mention numerous phone calls with the Family Court Clerks Office just to file the one Motion for Stay which was initially attempted to be filed in August 2012. Clearly, if I am unable to file this motion correctly taking over 4 months, there is no possible way I can handle the Appeal as a pro se litigant, and that should be a sign of my inabilities to handle such a case on my own.
 

All I want is some sort of normalcy in my life and to be a good mother to my children. Since this court has denied me that, it has unfortunately caused unbearable stresses as described above whether the intention was deliberate or not. 
 

The bottom line, I suffer from these traumatic stresses causing a host of these physical issues as stated above.  I also understand that under the ADA, it is a civil rights statute so it is strictly enforced and rights of immunity do not apply. 
 

Under the American Disabilities Act (ADA), I am requesting the courts to appoint a lawyer to assist me in my Appeal as stated above. These are rights I am guaranteed under the Constitution under the American Disabilities Act.
 

I thank you for your assistance in this matter and I sincerely apologize for not submitting this request sooner. 
 

Thank you,

Judge James Menno's Recusal in a Domestic Abuse / Custody Case ADMITTING Bias

I believe I will let the document speak for itself.  Any comments welcomed. Despite the order of motion to terminate visitation DENIED. I was unable to see my children until the FOLLOWING YEAR in July 2010. No Sanctions. No punishment. Nothing done as a result of failing to abide by court ordered visitation.