Why are Family Courts NOT Considering the ACE Study When Rendering Custody?

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study

Batterers have been gaining custody at a rate of 70-85% of the time in contested cases (American Judges' Foundation). The cost of society IGNORING abuse exceeds $333 BILLION annually just in healthcare alone not taking into the account of the cost to the prison system, welfare, Medicaid, housing etc. (CDC, 2013) The cost may be as high as $750 BILLION, because even in a medical setting, patients routinely deny their partner’s abuse for safety and other reasons. (Academy on Violence and Abuse, 2009) "The economic burden rivals the cost of other high profile public health problems, such as stroke and Type2 diabetes." (CDC, 2014) The United States spends over one trillion dollars on health care, crime and economic loss annually as a result of domestic violence.  This is in effect an abuser subsidy.  Best practices based on the Quincy Model would quickly save $500 billion annually of this expense.  (Goldstein)

Want to know why the cost of healthcare so high? The failure of family court to properly conduct early intervention, medical professionals improperly coding domestic violence, and protect the victim of abuse is one reason and based on our research the number reported by the CDC is grossly under-reported.  The medical community is beginning to recognize the seriousness of screening for interpersonal violence, but still fails to address the proper coding. (Skolink & Clouse, 2014)

Why do I say that? I attended a conference at Harvard University sponsored by the Massachusetts Department of Public Health in 2009 where the Department of Public Health said that it was costing the state of Massachusetts taxpayer $15 million a year to treat victims of domestic violence.  I asked where the Department of Public Health got that statistic and their reply was based on what's called a CPT billing code for domestic violence and mostly due to emergency room visits.

We looked at our data with the cases that we have to see if any of our cases were reflected in that data.  We had over 20+ cases the time just families involved in domestic violence related custody cases in family court. When you add the children involved, that number increases to 80 cases and not one of those cases were factored into the numbers being reported to the Department of Public Health despite medical reports documenting abuse.

The ongoing ACE study is the longest study that start in 1997 with over 17,000 participants (Kaiser Permanente, 1998-2006). The study focuses on childhood abuse, neglect, and exposure to other traumatic stressors which is termed adverse childhood experiences (ACE).  The short- and long-term outcomes of these childhood exposures revealed a multitude of health and social problems. Those who adversely affected are at higher risk for the following health problems:

·         Alcoholism and alcohol abuse

·         Cancer

·         Aids

·         Diabetes

·         Eating disorders

·         Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)

·         Depression

·         Fetal death

·         Health-related quality of life

·         Illicit drug use

·         Ischemic heart disease (IHD)

·         Liver disease

·         Risk for intimate partner violence

·         Multiple sexual partners

·         Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)

·         Smoking

·         Suicide attempts

·         Unintended pregnancies

·         Early initiation of smoking

·         Early initiation of sexual activity

·         Adolescent pregnancy

Furthermore, as a result of systemic failures of early intervention, researchers found that high levels of symptoms of mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD to be directly linked to domestic abuse after reviewing 67 relevant studies. (King's College London and University of Bristol, 2013) Those with diagnosed with anxiety disorders were more than 3.5 times more likely to have suffered domestic abuse. For those diagnosed with PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder were even seven times more at risk.

“In one long-term study, as many as 80 percent of young adults who had been abused met the diagnostic criteria for at least one psychiatric disorder at age 21. These young adults exhibited many problems, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and suicide attempts” (Silverman et al., 1996). (CDC, 2014)

 

Are fathers getting their fair share in family court? My answer is abusers in general have the upper hand in court. Good parents and children are losing to the racket of family courts. Victims of abuse are routinely being harmed with staggering statistics for long term damage and cost to the tax payer for the family courts failures. The statistical information, data and numbers can not be ignored.

We think we have a health care and economic problem now? Unless something is done about how family courts render custody to abusers, the economic toll to the tax payer will be devastating. It is time to stop ignoring the issues victims of abuse face every day and start becoming a part of the solution. Whether we realize it or not, by ignoring the problem directly impact our children, our families, our communities and our wallets.

To read more about the over 24 year compilation of research on Massachusetts Family Courts and Abuse, please visit my sister blog in a Letter To Jeff Kuhner on whether or not Fathers Are Getting Their Fair Stake in Family Courts

Thoughts about Pending Hearing on Motion to Extend Time for Appeal

In less than one week, I will be faced with Judge Roberts in regards to my motion to extend time for my Appeal. Unfortunately, based on what I have experienced in Family Court, I am not confident in winning this hearing without an attorney IF at all.

A part of me feels completely stuck and trapped in a whirlwind of such hatred against me as I try to sort out my feelings to why Judge Roberts would repeatedly ignore my plights for help since 2006 which started as a domestic violence case.

What is it that I am doing wrong besides being financially destitute? I have repeated asked the courts to tell me what I have done so wrong to be DENIED visitation with my children for the better part since September 2007. NO ONE ... No Judge ... No Court ... has ever told me why the relationship between myself and my children have been pretty much short of completely severed?

As a protective mother trying to protect her children from abuse, I went from having a restraining order to being forced to lift it to almost never seeing your children again for no explanation as to why.  I have NEVER been declared an unfit parent and NEVER has the court had any safety concerns with the children in my care.

I am now threatened with jail time for up to six months and receive the kind of orders I have been given yet those same rules have NOT applied to the opposing party who has repeatedly testified under oath his blatant refusal to comply with any orders since 2006 with NO sanctions ... NO penalties ... and NO justice. This has given me nightmares with ongoing panic attacks and a host of other physical issues that are hindering my progress due to the chronic stress and constant threats I have been living with NO relief.

I have no idea how to appease this judge and satisfy her hunger and blatant bias and get her to see that I am just a grieving mother who is faced with surmounting life circumstances.

I have no idea how to comply with the orders she is seeking for $80 a week in child support on estimated $10k a year on income plus restitution for HIS legal fees.

I am also the POA for my gravely ill mother who has been in the hospital for the last ten out twelve months and almost died twice.  Judge Roberts declared that I made a "choice" under the POA to care for my mother when she was declared medically indigent instead of abiding by her order. 

Yet I was denied a penny for the $135k in legal fees I incurred as a result of HIS deliberate contempt of preventing me from seeing my children or having any contact with them for over 90% of the court ordered visitation and phone calls. I have not seen my children now since August 3, 2011 when my uncle died and my ex used my uncle's death as an excuse to stop visitation despite court order. That alone is very upsetting for any parent.

Can someone please help me understand and how to NOT BE HUMAN so I can comply with this judge's order and try to reclaim my life again without the feeling of this constant neuse around my neck?

I wish I hit the lottery because what I am seeing more clear than ever is that JUSTICE ONLY occurs with those who have the most money to spend.

I am saddened at the hundreds of thousands of dollars my ex has constantly battered me with in legal fees ... most of it trying to defend myself in court when if he cared at all for his girls, he would take the money he is spending and forcing me to spend and put it towards my children's education. The amount spend in excess of $200k is enough to pay for their education.

Why doesn't any judge see the battering this man is doing?

How can I comply with this judge's order with the income I make and NOT go to Jail on May 15th for as upwards of 30 days to six months per her order.

How can I fight this case which is CURRENTLY still in appeal and fight the double standard as if two cases when it is one that is being appealed PRO SE?

Can anyone answer this question for me?

Will this judge approve this motion to extend time for the appeal or will I be denied as over 90% of my motions have been denied.

My Letter to Judge Lisa Roberts Pleading for Assistance and Justice under ADA

This letter was written as a result of the increased trauma related stress I had been feeling as a direct result of the repeated harassment, stalking, criminal activity, and the systemic failures or willingness to address such serious acts such as REPEATED identity theft.

Judge Roberts REFUSED to accept the letter during my hearing on Monday January 28, 2013, and denied gateway motion for a motion to be heard on this matter.

COMMOMWEALTH OF MASSACHUSETTS

Plymouth and Brockton Family Court

Judge Lisa Roberts

Dear Judge Roberts,                                                                           January 25, 2013

            RE: Bonetzky-Joseph v Joseph

            Docket No: PL06 D0566-DV1

Dear Judge Roberts, 
 

I am writing to you in hopes of your assistance in this case which is has become very traumatic for me. 
 

Under the American Disabilities Act (ADA), I am requesting the court to appoint a lawyer to assist me in preparing, managing, and handling of my appeal.  I am requesting a lawyer with specific expertise in areas of appeals, mental health, trauma, child custody, and domestic abuse.
 

I am also requesting under the ADA, that the court place restrictions on Attorney Arabasz conduct.  I am requesting the court order a comprehensive set of guidelines for his methods of ethical and professional communications in light of the history of the combative nature of his correspondences.  Attorney Arabasz has also verbally assaulted me as reported to Judge Sebatis in a restraining order hearing in 2006, substantiated by multiple third party witnesses and I believe he may have been reprimanded for his conduct based on what had transpired. He has engaged in gaslighting tactics and bullying as reported to the courts numerous times with no further actions. He has acquired my personal information unlawfully and refuses to explain how he attained the nonpublic information and obstructed justice on numerous occasions. He has intimidated witnesses as also reported to the courts. For these reasons, since the courts do not feel his actions require any further disciplinary actions, I am requesting a third party be appointed to mediate in any communications with Attorney Arabasz on top of the guidelines in regards to his conduct in correspondences with me. 
 

To add to why the courts should grant this request, Attorney Arabasz and Mr. Joseph have engaged in tactics since Sept 2007 by their own testimonies that demonstrate I undisputedly meet these qualifications under the ADA or they would not have gone to the extreme they have gone through to sever my relationship short of completely terminating my rights with my children since 2007.

Attorney Arabasz has stated these facts and desires numerous times under oath and via his motions to terminate all contact between the children and myself including terminating visitation during multiple court sessions that the courts repeatedly found to be credible. 
 

You are aware or should have been aware that this case began as a domestic violence case in 2005 and this court has been repeated reminded of the duress it has caused me. The abuse I endured and witnessed by the children (as documented) has escalated over the years via domestic violence by proxy.  

I am a human being and a mother who loves her children deeply but has been almost completely deprived of her children for over 5 years. I have not seen my children since August 3, 2011.  I would not be normal if I were not upset and distraught over that alone.  I lost custody via ex-parte in September 2007 after being forced to lift a restraining order in order to get the arrears in child support owed as documented in court records. I have been pretty much shut out of my children's lives completely since Sept 2007. 

As a protective mother trying to protect her children from abuse, I went from having a restraining order to being forced to lift it to almost never seeing your children again for no just reason.  

I have missed ALL of my three daughters birthdays, first day of school, first dance, holidays, vacations, school volunteering since 2007. My youngest daughter, Kelly, is 9. That means I have already missed out on HALF her life. I am not a drug addict. I am not an alcoholic.  I was and still am an upstanding citizen in the community despite Attorney Arabasz and his clients attempt to cause deliberate and malicious harm to me. I do my best to volunteer in the community including hospice and domestic abuse and have won numerous awards for my volunteerism over the years which tends bring me a renewed sense of healing from my own traumas. My children and I cannot get back those formative years we have missed.  They are gone forever, never to return.  I am speechless in my ability to describe the pain and anguish I feel over this injustice alone.
 

Over that time, as documented through the courts, I have endured numerous repeated serious abuses that I have come to the court pleading for help with no prevail.  I am a human being who can take being abused only for so long.  I have suffered serious repeated unrelenting undue stresses, many which are criminal in nature, that have caused health issues. When the trial arrived, I prayed and hoped for justice to finally prevail for the sake of my children. 
 

I have been severed from my children’s lives with little to no contact since August 3, 2011 and even longer since September 2007. The verdict of August 2012 from the trial was devastating to me and I worried the about the long term negative impact and implications it would have on my children as medical research demonstrates and the most telling is the ongoing ACE Study funded by the CDC.  

As a result, I am currently being treated for ADHD, Legal Abuse Syndrome, and trauma-related stress and my treatment since trial has increased. Symptoms of trauma-related stress include: gastro-intestinal issues; anxiety and fear especially when exposed to situations reminding me of the many repeated traumatic events; trouble sleeping; trouble eating; low energy; memory problems; including difficulty remembering aspects of the trauma; a “scattered” feeling and inability to focus on work or daily activities;  emotional “numbness,” in which causes me to feel withdrawn, disconnected, or different from others; and protectiveness of loved ones or fear for their safety.

I did not suffer any of these symptoms until after I married an abusive partner and endured years of  abuse.  I was a victim that the system failed to protect and now I suffer greatly.  I was a fantastic mother and even the father had no questions to my ability to care for or mother these children until he got what he wanted and stole financially through the divorce.  However, the system has stripped away all my ability to love, nurture, and parent my three daughters who need me greatly.  
 

As numerous medical studies and research suggest, being subject to the repeated abuses  is a trigger that causes these symptoms I feel. If the abuse was removed and my ability to parent would be restored, the symptoms would also dissipate and the return to normalcy attained. 
 

I have been fighting and defending my rights to see, reunite, and restore some sort of normalcy in my life with my children for over seven and half years. I have been defending my rights to privacy to not have my personal information repeatedly stolen, my rights to not be harassed, repeatedly threatened, stalked, and intimidated. 
 

I have been defending myself three times in criminal court as well as in the community of the charges for a crime of stealing money that legally belonged to me on a house that legally belonged to me. 

I have had to defend my right to call for a well check on my children which was legally advised and have since been threatened by my ex and his lawyer for MORE criminal harassment charges if I attempt to contact the children via text messages. 
 

I have had many of my private accounts altered with my addresses changed to an address that I have never lived at, but so happens to be the address where my ex-husband runs his financial services business.  This occurred with my home owners and his attempts to steal a $30k insurance check and threatened two police officers in his attempts; my health insurance; and more recently discovered DURING trial, my IRA which was changed by me ex-husband acting as securities advisor as documented with records and not only that but receiving my statements for three years and opening my mail as evidenced at trial. This is not to mention the acquisition of my mortgage loan application by Attorney Arabasz and his client with no recourse or answers to how they attained the document which is not a public record.
 

This is not to mention my ex stole my father’s entire retirement account by committing a securities transaction without a license as evidenced to you during your trial.  
 

I have had my assault and battery evidence disappear from the Plympton Police department and waived in my face by Attorney Arabasz which caused issues for the Police department who admitted wrongdoing as a result. 
 

I have had my phone conversations illegally tape recorded prior to Judge Menno’s order. This does not preclude the acts and the wrongdoing prior to the order. As noted by the Plymouth Police Department, Attorney Arabasz could not provide any document or evidence to substantiate it was conducted lawfully prior to the order.
 

I have had my tires slashed, identity stolen four times, office broken into, just to name a small amount of issues I have had to face with many of them being admittedly perpetrated against me by my ex-husband and his lawyer.  All of these acts were committed over a four year period which can get very stressful, exhausting, taxing on the mind, body and spirit of best equipped and intentioned individuals.  The fact that I feel injustice has occurred in my case negatively affecting my children has unfortunately become now a new trigger causing these to render my ability to properly prepare for my Appeal impossible.
 

This is not to include a serious auto accident which caused me to not work for over 9mo.

It is difficult for most lawyers to meet deadlines, know what to prepare, how to prepare it, when, and with right citings of case laws and arguments to use in the case for an Appeal. It even more difficult to do it pro se.  However, it has become near impossible to complete when faced with these triggers and impairments causing these unbearable symptoms of the trauma-related stress. 
 

I have recently learned there is a additional term for what I suffer called “Legal Abuse Syndrome”. As defined by expert Karin Huffer, 

“LEGAL ABUSE SYNDROME (LAS) is a form of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).  It is a psychic injury, not a mental illness.  It is a personal injury that develops in individuals assaulted by ethical violations, legal abuses, betrayals, and fraud. Abuse of power and authority and a profound lack of accountability in our courts have become rampant, compounding an already stressful experience.  

This stress can and does lead to physical illness. AMA statistics show that around 85% of all physical illness is directly attributable to stress. Legal Abuse Syndrome is a public health menace in this country.  It leads to massive medical intervention costs, burdens insurance companies, and adds to Medicare and Social Security costs.  Most painfully, it crushes the brilliance and creativity of its sufferers.  Legal Abuse Syndrome is detrimental to all of society, and nobody is immune.

… When litigants are unable to get fair resolution to their issues, when the court dysfunction further adds to the litigant's burden, when no amount of actual case law compels an equitable outcome, litigants suffer often disabling levels of stress. When further attempts to achieve redress fail, litigants display the hallmark signs of Legal Abuse Syndrome (LAS).”
 

The fact that my ex-husband testified under oath admitting not complying with court order, has not intention of complying with court order and then the court not taking swift and punitive action was devastating to my very being. 
 

My need for an attorney over any other litigant is simple.  As a result of the disabilities and impairments I suffer from, I am unable to do what is needed for the Appeal. 
 

As noted, it took at least 5-6 appearances, not to mention numerous phone calls with the Family Court Clerks Office just to file the one Motion for Stay which was initially attempted to be filed in August 2012. Clearly, if I am unable to file this motion correctly taking over 4 months, there is no possible way I can handle the Appeal as a pro se litigant, and that should be a sign of my inabilities to handle such a case on my own.
 

All I want is some sort of normalcy in my life and to be a good mother to my children. Since this court has denied me that, it has unfortunately caused unbearable stresses as described above whether the intention was deliberate or not. 
 

The bottom line, I suffer from these traumatic stresses causing a host of these physical issues as stated above.  I also understand that under the ADA, it is a civil rights statute so it is strictly enforced and rights of immunity do not apply. 
 

Under the American Disabilities Act (ADA), I am requesting the courts to appoint a lawyer to assist me in my Appeal as stated above. These are rights I am guaranteed under the Constitution under the American Disabilities Act.
 

I thank you for your assistance in this matter and I sincerely apologize for not submitting this request sooner. 
 

Thank you,

Judge James Menno's Recusal in a Domestic Abuse / Custody Case ADMITTING Bias

I believe I will let the document speak for itself.  Any comments welcomed. Despite the order of motion to terminate visitation DENIED. I was unable to see my children until the FOLLOWING YEAR in July 2010. No Sanctions. No punishment. Nothing done as a result of failing to abide by court ordered visitation.