POTUS: Domestic Violence is Root Cause For Mass Shooting NOT Mental Health

updated: 11/7/2017

Trump: Texas Gunman’s Mental Health Is to Blame for Church Massacre

PHOTO: Wall Street Journal 

My response to Mass shooting in Texas killing 26 souls. Click here for article in Wall Street Journal:

As a survivor of abuse and spiritual seeker, I have had a slew of revelations especially in the last 24 hours. Have you? Are you focused on the tragedy or POTUS's disregard for victims of abuse or on the silver lining through it all?

Then to wake up seeing a slew of media outlet reports about the connection between domestic violence in mass shootings was almost a shocker, and I must say that I actually felt relief.

As you may gage from my blog, the topic of domestic violence and other forms of abuse are near and dear to me.

What I see happening since the #metoo and downfall of Weinstein, I feel that for the FIRST time we are addressing the REAL issues behind our societal problems, mass shootings, Etc rooted in the systemic failures in addressing abuse. Sighhhhh

Firstly, almost every human being on this planet has experienced some form of mental health issue. those with mental health issues most likely will not commit a violent Act. The most common violent Act is suicide.

Domestic violence is about power and control. Period.

We are a culture that is numb that has normalized certain patterns of abuse. The pleas and voices of survivors are routinely judged, shamed, ousted, and re-abused. Hence, why most are silenced or never leave.

Advocates and experts have been outspoken on these topics. Some have had their lives threatened and others lives destroyed trying to speak this truth.

Fox news LA did an expose on the corruption in child custody cases involving abuse. the producer of the series had a mysterious hiking accident and died.

"...there is one disturbing, yet under-reported pattern that is painfully clear when it comes to mass violence and terrorism: Domestic violence. Many of the men who commit mass public attacks were accused of abusing the women and children in their lives."1

My questions to you POTUS:

How is someone with a violent abusive domestic violence history who murders 26 people a mental health issue? Again, domestic violence is about power and control. I assume something you know quite well based on you treatment of women and minorities.

Why is this NOT a systemic failure of addressing domestic violence in the USA? You saying nothing about the rampant gun violence and domestic violence adds insult to injury.

Targeting and killing people ... from my understanding because your ex and family were there ... has to to with power and control, and less to do with "mental health" as you claim.
Here's some fixes for you to consider ...

• fix the way courts deal with domestic violence.
• enforce laws and protect our children instead of legally trafficking 58,000 of them annually to documented abusers
• stop granting custody to up to 80% of "documented" abusers especially child molesters who somehow are gaining at higher rates. Massachusetts ranks higher than national average 
• stop sympathizing with abusers and murderers and making excuses for their behavior
• implement the "Quincy model" and save taxpayers $500 Billion a year while enhancing protections for victims
• stop silencing victims #metoo 
• stop normalizing abuse, rape, violence 
• Stop the gender bias especially where there is abuse

DO THAT .... and we would have a safer USA.

Want to know why I am passionate about this?

As a survivor of multiple abuses only to be re-victimized by the system that was supposed to protect me and my children

AND

as someone who has worked advocating for survivors domestic abuse, sex abuse and child abuse

AND

As someone who works tirelessly in the healing arts to help survivors of abuse and those traumatized by the failures of the system ...

I will say it again, this IS NOT a "mental health" issue. This is a power and control issue which is riddled with systemic failures to stop. 

Your behavior is repugnant to all survivors like myself. I would have thought you and your aides would have taken some notes on all the #metoo and downfall of likes of those like the Harvey Weinstein's of the world.

As President, you are supposed to lead the people of USA not just the select male, white, privileged American as they are the true minority.

I beg of you to start leading this country and to stop normalizing abuse and violence which leads to tragedies like yesterday in Texas.

Be sure to check out the Washington Post Article published 11/7/17: The Texas shooting shows that domestic violence is a national security issue

FINAL THOUGHTS

It may sound weird or bizarre, but I feel waking up and seeing all the media reports about domestic violence being linked to mass shootings and violence in general is like having my own voice heard for the very first time. Sighhhhhhhh

What I am feeling, I struggle to put into words. All I know is my throat relaxed, and my shoulders sank. I have been fighting this battle personally for over 20yrs. Sadly, because I had children with my abuser, my story will never end.

WHY? Because abusers will lie, cheat, manipulate, steal for control of their victims. I pray one day, truth will be revealed in my story for the sake of my children and all who aim to cause harm are held accountable.

For the sake of my children and all the children of the world, I pray this is just the beginning of the downfall for all humans out for power and control especially of women and children.

I can not change what is, but what I can do is work on how I react to my abuser and all the rest who trigger me.

My abuser may have stolen my family's life savings, freedom, bank accounts, defrauded insurance companies, stalked, impersonated and stolen identities and got away with it, laundered money and got away with it, physically, emotionally, financially, and psychologically abused me and my family, literally stolen almost everything physical in life, and even attempted to murder me via "accident", BUT he will NEVER ... no matter how hard he tries ... never steal the feeling of making a difference in another person's life.

He will NEVER steal my soul. Knowing this which took years for me to see, gives me my power back. That is what helped me in my healing instead of feeling stuck and dive into drugs, alcohol, or dead as many do because the system fails and silences victims.

I feel after so much darkness, I can finally see the dawn. The light ALWAYS returns.

I'm looking forward to more unveiling of truths in order for all of us to continue on the path authenticity, personal truth, and healing.

I look forward to seeing a new earth filled with unity, acceptance, peace and love.

___________________________________

SOURCES:  

1. The Texas shooting shows that domestic violence is a national security issue;  The Washington Post; Karen Attiah; 11/7/17; 

Abuser Seeking To Terminate Parental Rights of Protective Mother Inlcuding Third Party

I was recently in court on reduction of child support since the current child support order orders over 60% of my pay in child support PLUS attorney's fees or I will face a 6mo prison sentence on April 16, 2014 despite my current disabilities, unemployment, and efforts made to comply with current order prohibiting me and my ability to survive at a basic minimum. It shall be noted that I made numerous attempts to file this motion since June 2013 with stall tactics by the courts and refusal to allow the filing til after August 2013. I waited over nine months to be heard with constant threat of imprisonment every time I went to court. Where is fair due process?

While in court, my abuser verbally petitioned the court to terminate all my parental rights. The judge and my ex tried to get to me agree to the termination in court without legal representation and without the offer in writing despite my reluctance to make such a harsh decision.

What is ironic despite the ludicrousness of this, my abuser has only cared about money as demonstrated by actions throughout the time I have known the man. This also includes the admitted theft of several financial accounts including my father, putting him in Chapter 7 Bankruptcy. He has NEVER demonstrated any actions that were the best interests of the children as evidenced at trial and court documents.

It is bad enough he is now petitioning to terminate my parental rights, but another thing to petition the court to hold me accountable for any third party actions.

Excerpts As follows on February 25, 2014:

"In an effort to totally resolve the issues which continually bring you and Mr. Joseph to Probate Court, Mr. Joseph proposes the following:

1. You are to have no contact, i.e. no meetings, no phone calls, no texts, no presents, no gifts, no emails, no letters, no third-party contact, no communication of any nature, with any of the children until each attains the age of 18 years old. At that time you may contact each 18 year old daughter as they and you agree, or not.
2. (8) ... The parties further agree that they will not cooperate with any 3rd party who may attempt to bring legal suit against either party for monies owed.
3. (9) You will not post anything of any nature regarding the children, Mr. Joseph, or his wife Andrea in writing. This includes, but not limited to, the Internet, websites, articles, or blogs.

Failure of you to adhere to the terms of a signed Agreement, containing the provisions in this letter, will result in reinstatement of all monies owed, including but not limited to $55.00 per week from the date of the original Order from Judge Roberts. In other words, if you comply with the Agreement when you owe him nothing and if you should breach the Agreement, then you will owe all the money that you presently owe plus $55.00 per week that you would have had to pay in the absence of this Agreement."

First of all ... after my ex slipped in a one liner in my divorce decree at the signing table that says that I will indemnify him harmless for any monies owed to my father. At the time I assumed it was regarding a $3,000 car loan we still owed my father for Saturn we bought. I had NO IDEA he was referencing that I indemnify him harmless in an actually criminal act of stealing my father's entire life savings. He later admitted in a testimony in Court in 2012 to taking the money and using it for personal use. The check was made out to him personally and they VERY withdrawal form from my father's account was in my abuser's handwriting. Therefore, acting as my father's securities representative without a license to do so and using the money for personal use not as he said he would by investing it for my father. The family court judge who overheard this case and the evidence supplied to the courts demonstrating a crime had committed did nothing...not even a forward to the DA's office for investigation.

I learned my lesson from that horrible experience. To this day I still harbor enormous guilt that 1) I married a man who could do such a horrible thing to my father who was so good to him 2) I did not know what had transpired until after the act was done. I would never have signed such a document if I knew what happened. 3) later finding out how verbally abusive my ex was every time my elderly father inquired to the status of his monies. My father worked hard for his money and is at a time in his life he should be enjoying life and semi-retired, not still trying to keep a roof over his head at 73.

I will not repeat that same mistake again. I will NOT sign away any third party rights to go after my abuser civilly or criminally. I learned my lesson the last time. That clause has NOTHING to do with my parental rights. Clearly by the mere fact he added that statement in there, I must know something or some legal action has already ensued that I am not aware of as of yet. Just like the last time when I signed my divorce decree.

If all my abuser has been seeking since I have known him, is money then why all of a sudden is he willing to waive it NOW after asking the judge on at least 4 occasions in the last year to incarcerate me for six months while falsifying evidence and refuting 100% compliance with orders at that time?

What is it that he is so insistent that I do "not cooperate with any third party"? Does this include do not speak to the FBI or State of Massachusetts or IRS or SEC etc who may contact me. These are all agencies I know there are possible pending legal actions.

So what if the children's godparents, cousins, grandparents, uncles, aunts,  or agencies like DCF contact them, and I am held responsible for their actions? Termination of MY parental rights does not preclude the rights of any third party and I can NOT nor will I be held accountable for any third party actions as I can not control that.

So  if I understand this correctly, I post that I miss my children on my facebook page and may even post a #throwbackthursday picture constitutes violating this agreement?

Your thoughts on the topic would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you

Help Me See My Children and Begin the Healing Process in Reunification

I need your help.  I am writing to your organization because I have exhausted all my resources in Massachusetts and beyond.   

 This is my situation. I have three daughters, Alexandria aged 15, Shannon aged 12 and Kelly aged 9 who I love dearly. However, my ex-husband was granted custody, ex-parte, after he convinced me to lift a restraining order or else he would not pay child support for our daughters. I have not seen my children since August 3, 2011. My case started out as a domestic violence case in 2005 that included numerous police incidents including a restraining order for assault and battery and medical treatment. Pictures were also taken by the police department showing bruises on my face, arms and legs from the abuse. 

 I lost custody on a false ex-parte motion shortly after my abuser begged me to drop the restraining order as he was unable and in contempt for failing to pay child support. Two weeks before the ex-parte motion, a contempt motion was filed for failing to comply with his own granted visitation and child support. I was also seeking changes in visitation as a result.  I have been pretty much shut out of my children's lives since Sept 2007 as my abuser and father of my children has refused to comply with court ordered visitation and was recently found guilty on 96 Counts of contempt for failing to comply with visitation, but I was sanctioned for his contempt. 

My previous judge ADMITTED bias andrecused himself in December 2009. He forwarded pending motions and contempts to the new judge (some filed in 2008 and unheard), but new judge took over a year (until Oct 2011) to address contempts especially in regards to the visitation interference. The court has allowed many things that right now I cannot post in fear of retaliation and in lieu of pending Appeal of my case. 

Bottom line.... There have been at least 5 attempts to terminate visitation based on unfounded ACCUSATIONS of mental illness and motions for mental health evaluation been denied 100% ONLY AFTER I filed for help from the court regarding the abuse and AFTER I filed for divorce and was granted full physical and shared legal custody in the divorce. 

Please explain to me how a protective mother goes from having a restraining order to being forced to lift it for financial reasons (documented), to never seeing your children again? 

My abuser has spent the last six years trying to obliterate any and all mother-daughter relationship between my daughters and me.  He made it crystal clear as testified in court in March 2009 that he wanted the children to forget I even existed.  He has testified that he has not complied with court orders and has no intention of complying with court orders. He has prevented me from seeing them, confiscated all gifts and letters I sent them and even placed a block on my telephone number so I could not speak to them for months.  This was verified by the phone company and documented through the police department.
 

My children and I cannot get back those formative years we have missed. The damage is already done and is irreversible. All I can hope for is to be given the chance to help my children through the healing and begin to rebuild a relationship we lost on that fateful day in September 2007.

In hindsight, I feel like the biggest mistake I made was I left my abuser, my children’s father because at least I would still be with them. I do not drink, use drugs and have never abused children.  I am a adjunct instructor at a local college, volunteer doing healing work, and have won awards for my volunteerism which is one thing I find very self healing to me.  

However, I am still heartbroken.  I can’t see my children grow up or see their faces on Christmas morning after Santa has left presents under the tree. I can’t be there on their first day of school or on their birthdays.  Mother /daughter times don’t exist for us, times taken for-granted by many.  I have missed ALL THEIR birthdays, first day of school, first dance, holidays, vacations, school volunteering since 2007. My youngest is 9. That means I have already missed out on HALF her life. Unfortunately the tender, formative years are gone forever and my children will grow up  not knowing their mother and have no memories of the mother/daughter bond created during childhood due to their father.

I have exhausted the judicial system as well as my personal and financial resources trying to reverse the damage done to my children, my family and myself.  I have lost everything to the point that I had to move in with my father so I would not be homeless, for basic survival, and so I can continue my fight. 
 

I am reaching out to you because I don’t know what else to do, but I refuse to stop fighting for my girls until they are safe with me.
 

In-light of the recent documentary No Way Out by Garland Walker and Barry Nolan and the recent Fox LA news expose’ series on the Family Court victimization of countless children, I cannot and will not stop until justice is done!
 

All I want to do is hug my children, tell they I love them and after all these years have not stopped fighting for them. If you could help me or lead me to someone who can, I would be forever grateful.
 

Thank you